Infidelity in relationships is not just when you have an affair with another person without the knowledge of your partner. It’s possible that you or your partner have been cheating financially without realizing that that’s still infidelity.
And like other forms of cheating, financial infidelity also causes hurt and feelings of betrayal in a relationship as relationship expert Grace Kariuki tells us.
So, what’s financial infidelity? According to Grace, it is the act of hiding or withholding financial information from your partner. It’s all about trust. So, if you can’t trust your partner enough to share financial information with them, then that’s cheating and it is not healthy for your relationship.
More often than not, people avoid having the ‘money talk’ in a relationship yet it’s such an important discussion to have even before you get married.
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“The issue of money and expectations ought to be discussed during courtship and frequently during the marriage. Secrecy and dishonesty about money can emotionally hurt as bad as sexual infidelity.” Grace tells us.
She goes on to tell us that, “There’s an implied expectation that the couple will be open about money. Oneness in finances is a sign of trust between a couple. When there’s no openness, transparency, and accountability, then the relationship hurts.”
Signs of financial infidelity
If you want to find out if your partner has been cheating on you financially, then you need to be more alert since some of the signs are so subtle and might go unnoticed.
“The best way to spot a problem is a sudden change in behaviour. If there’s a sudden complaining about being broke or withholding of financial expectations or frustration when asked about money, then be alert and do your homework to find out what is happening.” Advises Grace Kariuki.
Grace tells us that if your partner is being moody, it could be a sign of being stressed about finances. Maybe they have been irresponsible with the finances and the guilt is eating them up.
Also, using money from your joint account without consulting you or failing to contribute to an agreed-upon account is a sign of financial infidelity in a relationship.
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Other signs of financial infidelity to watch out for include:
1. Hiding receipts
2. Late payment of bills
3. Secret bank accounts
4. Spending secretly
5. Sending other people cash without the knowledge of your spouse
6. Borrowing a lot
7. Having debts and keeping them secret
8. New spending patterns or new purchases
9. Anger or defensiveness when asked to explain the use of money